Lately I’ve been feeling pretty ‘bleh’. I’ve been motoring along on my second novel–thirty thousand words in three weeks is a pretty good average. I haven’t skipped a single day, but I’ve whined a lot inside my head. I’ve whined and I’ve worried and I’ve doubted myself, and it’s making me a total crank.
They say the second novel is always the hardest, whoever ‘they’ are. But I believe them. SEED has been doing pretty well for a debut release. It’s only been on the market for a little over two weeks and it’s held a steady place on the Kindle Top 100 Occult list, only falling off once or twice before jumping right back on again. Overall I’m thrilled with the response I’ve been getting… so why the sour face?
My second book is tentatively called The Neighbors–that may change, it may hold. Honestly, I really like the title. If you know it’s horror, you immediately get a feel of what’s to come. But there are things that worry me, things that I’ve been shoving to the side because if I let them get to me, I’ll probably abandon the entire project (definitely not an option).
SEED starts off very in-your-face. You’re on edge from the the very first page. The Neighbors has a gradual lead-up, it has a lot more backstory… in essence, it feels a lot more like a Stephen King novel; lots of character development, lots of history, a slower pace. And while I’m actually okay with the change, it makes me wonder whether my audience will be.
My fears: What if it’s slow? What if it sucks? What if it’s boring? What if it won’t compare? None of this should be in my head right now, but it is… because now there’s expectation. Now, there’s this other book that’s gaining an audience and what if I let them down?
It’s enough to make a girl, well, moody.
Right now there’s absolutely nothing to do about this little problem. The way I work, I don’t discuss what I’m writing, I don’t ask people for input… so until the damn thing is finished, which will take another six weeks, I’m going to have to suck it up and stop being such a dumb baby.
Because that’s what I am, a dumb baby. Look at me and my dumb baby face.